Sentiments...

A wise man once said something along the lines of "if you can count all your real friends on one hand, you'd truly be a rich man." Well, not to sound conceited, but I know I can. In all honesty, I think you'd be wealthy if you can count it on one finger.

You see, true friends are rare. Sure, we all have lots of friends. Friends we occasionally talk to, friends we spend time playing around with, friends we complain to and friends we cry to. And yes, that last sentence was filled with segments that ended in prepositional phrases, but I don't care. Because I know that a true friend would never care. Dr. Seuss said, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." And that could not be more accurate.

True friends are people you can talk to about anything, and you can do anything around them, with absolutely no fear of what they're going to think. You can sit up and have extensive conversations about things that would be inappropriate to talk to anyone else about. Tell them things you wouldn't tell other people. They encourage you to be you, and inspire you to be a better person.

Yes, true friends are the most valuable treasure of all, worth all the stars in the sky. And again, I hate to sound ostentatious, but I am as affluent as then come. Of course, I wish I could be so privileged to be as close with all my friends, but it's just not possible. And I'm lucky for what I have. If you read this, and you feel a little tingle inside, you know who you are, and I love you.

On a side note, do you ever notice something hit the ground and you have no earthly idea from where the heck it came? I was just sitting in my chair, and heard a sound, and looked over and there was a little black thing, of unknown origin, on the ground. Oops.

"Reemer... one of these days, I'm gonna be a big sports star."

One of these days, I'm gonna own a big sports bar. I mean, no. Why the hell would I want to own a big sports bar? Anypoo, I think I'm going to be famous one day though, much moreso than I would be if I owned a stinking sports bar. I'm doing research this summer, and, well, it's a pretty big deal. Cutting edge stuff if you know what I mean. I'll probably be getting a Nobel prize in a few years, if this is at all a just world.

But no, seriously, I am doing research. And it is pretty interesting stuff that I really do hope will have some kind of significance and impact. And I also hope that this will just serve as a stepping stone for future years filled with important research that will save millions of lives and all that jazz. But in all honesty, who the heck knows.

Basically, the moral of the story is that I'm bored, and I felt inspired to write something. So there it is folks, hope you enjoyed reading 13 sentences.

Mr. Cool

Today marked the second funeral I've been to in as many weeks. Eight days, to be precise. The first was short and small, no time to let my emotions get the better of me. But today's was much longer and larger. It was an interesting reuinion of sorts: so many teachers I hadn't seen in almost two years were there, all paying their respect.

The service was beautiful and touching. And despite my already high level of veneration for an amazing human being, I found that level increasing that much more after all I learned of his life tonight. I cried. I cried for one of my favorite teachers ever, and I cried for my grandmother too. Discretely of course, but tears nonetheless.

I've learned something, though. There's almost always a good and a bad with everything situation. These people may no longer be with us, and to us, that seems terrible. But perhaps there's a certain peace that accompanies death. Heaven or not, there has to be at least a relief with the conclusion of pain and suffering.

The pastor mentioned an intriguing observation he made in the obituary section. To the left of Mr. McCoole was a 93 year-old woman, and to the 42 year-old man's right was a 19 year-old young man. This juxtaposition just shows how unpredictable life truly is. You can't live with any regrets, except for those that are too late to ameliorate. You have to live every day as if it might be your last. Carpe diem. And make sure to never end a conversation with someone you care about on a bad note. Regardless of how bad a fight you may have had or whatever, make sure they know you care.

To me, life is about living to the fullest, and loving with all your heart. And I hope everyone close to me knows that.

Oh you, you lady bug...

I find it interesting how much ones world can change in the course of a year. One single year, 365 days, can make such a huge difference. This day, one year ago, I was curled up in my bed, shaking vigorously and uncontrollably when I woke up at 6 AM, and felt no urge to leave my bed. Completely overwhelmed with sadness and pain over the emotions of another that had recently surfaced and come to my attention.

But times change. Over the past year I've made some awesome new friends, and become closer to others than I was at that time. Of course, unfortunately, I've grown slightly apart from other friends as well. But I could not be happier with the friends I have now and the life I'm living. Sometimes it takes a bug to help you see those things. Many of you will have absolutely no idea what that means.

I truly wish I could be close friends with everyone. All of those friends I have on facebook, I wish I could see and talk to on a regular basis. But so many are mere acquaintances, and there isn't much I can do about that fact. So I will try my best to be friendly to as many people as I can be, and make an extra effort to be more outgoing.

But regardless, you better have an amazing birthday, or I will go over there and make you, you.

Here's to you, Gramma..

You know, it's funny, you can see something coming for years sometimes, but it still shocks you when it finally happens. Like that car you've had for 15 years that keeps on hanging in there, and even though it's had random parts falling off for several years, and it randomly has tiny little explosions, you still feel as if it'll always be there. Why do we have these expectations?

Life is a delicate, beautiful vase. We really forget how fragile it is, even though we know how easily it can break. And so often we forget how beautiful it really is, because our focus is diverted by the overpowering presence of the flowers it houses. But just like the flowers it holds, the vase won't last forever, regardless of how far into the future that may be. Entropy is inevitable, and death is just a part of life.

For the past five or six years, I've seen you wither away, becoming almost an empty shell. I want to say my biggest regret is never really truly getting to know you and appreciate you as a person, but regret is the wrong word. I was still too young to really appreciate and value any person for who they really were before it was too late. The most overwhelming sadness lies in the fact that almost all of my clear memories of you were when the real you inside was trapped and unable to really communicate with the outside world. All other memories from before are fuzzy and vague.

I don't know where my beliefs are, so I don't know where you are, but I hope that this juncture served as an end to your suffering. I hope you're in a good place where you can remember all the amazing times you've experienced. And ignorant me, I don't even know what so many of those are. Living all over the world with your incredibly devoted husband. The birth of your two children, and the birth of your two grandchildren, the last was the most glorious, of course. But seriously, I hope there's something good for you, and that's all I have - hope. And I wish I could have seen you one last time, as you wish I could have, the real you.

You can learn from every experience. My children will know their grandparents, if at all possible, and hopefully it will be. And I know that there are friends who have gone through losses before as well. I am truly fortunate to have friends who are supportive and caring, thank you.

I wish the best for all of you and your loved ones.

"August evenings bring solemn warnings to remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight." -Anberlin

Oh muse, you hide so well.

For months before I ever decided to make a blogger, my mind was always teeming with topics about which I would have been able to write nauseating amounts. Enter irony. Now that I made this, I haven't had any thoughts that I would write about, whatsoever. Although, it's only been a few days, ideas will inevitably spark eventually.

On a different note, it's finals week, and things have been pretty enjoyable so far. Although my performance on my first test was most likely subpar, I'm feeling good about the semester as a whole. Albeit, it was my laziest semester ever, but a very memorable one nonetheless. This summer will be really busy with classes, research, and hopefully work, but I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Anyshit, inspiration is not roaring it's head tonight. I wish everyone who is still enduring finals the best of luck.

A new beginning...

Sixteen months ago, I became a Xanga member. That lasted about 2 months, maybe. I despised it and everything it did to me: always wanting to know about something that was no longer any of my business. But that's not me anymore.

Now here I am, the end of my second year of college, making a blogger. Why, you may ask? It's simple, really. I'm an engineering major, which means I take a grand total of one verbally related course. I'd really like to make an effort to prevent my writing abilities and vocabulary from going straight into the plumbing system.

I'm not on here to obsess about reading about the lives of others, and I really don't expect anyone to read about what I have to say either. What I will write will pretty much be for my own sake. But, I'd be more than happy if anyone finds what I have to say intriguing and entertaining, and I encourage strongly any comments of any kind (correcting poor grammar or usage, or purely on the subject of what I'm writing).

Anyway, maybe I'll write here frequently, maybe I won't, it's hard to say now. But regardless, I hope anyone who does read this has a fantastic day and doesn't feel as if they've completely wasted the last 5 minutes reading this.